This blog wont tell you how to lose some extra kilos, how to keep your professional life happy, how to make love to an alien, how to stop your hairfall and neither it would tell you how cryptic your life is. All you would get here are some lame ideas coming from a lame donkey.
“बस आखिरी कॉल! फिर नहीं !”It is difficult to finish
a never ending conversation. A tsunami
might have hit 10 meters away, a lightning thunder must have roasted Neetu, and
finally I could see CR shutting his mouth up with asphyxiation. I might have been
hallucinating, though I wished for a moment it was true at least for CR; night
seemed to be colder than before in Jampot and a claustrophobic feel entrenched
me beneath an open sky.
My fear was staring at me; “In your face Bro!”; harder
was to allay the thought of not calling her tomorrow. No more of colossal
bills, no more of SMS recharge packages, would Bharti Airtel go bankrupt (the
demented MBAian spoke again), even smoke rings looked like sore arses.
A pause, “tomorrow, I’m getting married “. I was
taken down by shrillness of Abhi’s voice, “साले QUIZ का टाइम हो रहा है दोनों साले कहाँ @#$@# रहे हो!!” “Fuck you CR, another word
you utter and I would get a crane, pick you with your balls…..” for the first
time I felt like a Backhoe (the mean crane machine). CR could well sense the gravity
of the situation and left blabbering for some other location.
“You there?” yeah very much, but not in totality,
a part me had been sucked into void. The
night seemed to grow darker, colder, emptier and blunt. I felt this vicious week was at fault, all
Indian were at fault, how whole of India can get married in November. “सबको शादी करने की पड़ी है, ##$^%^ ! शादी न हो गयी चरस हो गयी बो दो सबकी
२३@#@#$” (Dementia speaks!)
The noises in background subdued, I couldn’t utter
a word, she was leaving me, I recollected myself, swallowed the lump which grew
heavy with each second, I said those three magical words, “all the best
!”. ( Crash ! Seriously dude, after a
courtship period of 6 years all she gets to hear is “ALL THE BEST!”, and what
is so magical about it.) The three words can fit in any situation (Dementia
speaks!) ; I tried, tried and tried, all I could utter
were words which seemed utter sham, we exchanged few rounds of warmth, few more
rounds of conversations, few more…... It lasted for an hour.
She said: “Good Bye! I’ll see you soon.” That’s it
I suppose. ”What did she mean by see you soon?” I stood there in the corridor
all alone staring into the void, She dropped off, why me? Why her, why us, why
the fuck am I in Jampot (Dude you have paid 15 lakhs for your MBA- yours sincerely
Kaput), hence this question is void ab initio.
My cologne had stopped working, all of a sudden I
could feel a stubble on my face ( but I did shave this morning), my sweatshirt
seemed sulky, my shoes seemed torn, In the mirror nearby I could see the other
side of me smiling.
“अबे बिशु दा के ढाबे चलो BACKHOE,QUIZ के तो पकोड़े लग गए, global consultant पता नहीं कहाँ loafing कर रहा है!” CR was back, he smiled jovially, but it failed to elate me. We walked
slowly out of the alley; CR’s chatter box was still on, all of a sudden it
struck me, I had left my watch back in the library, CR promptly said “अमा तो ले आते हैं, घडी ही तो है घोडा थोड़ी ना भाग जायेगी जो?”
I smiled for a moment, “she gave me that as a gift
let it is. Not needed anymore.”
“बिशु दा, 3 चाय और 1 सुट्टा देना”
The smoke within admonished me, I smiled and said
“Perhaps I will take that wrist watch tomorrow morning!!”
right here is a void; I can’t face myself in the mirror. After initial hysteria
that died, the euphoric tunes seem to have turned into cacophonous noises. All
that is left a void, a chasm which I find hard to fill in.
This part right
here is called GIVING UP!
I was done with
my salary negotiations which didn't go as expected. I think I couldn't get my
share because I was weak, I couldn't hard sell. Even an ostrich could have
bargained better than me. It hurts you more when people around you were able to
fetch more than you. Damn….
says, “Dude, it seems you got nervous” poor me, spot on, bingo, yeah you got it
right Rahul, and here is your million dollar cheque. To cash it you got to sign
I still feel
more than anything that hurts me is that I failed yet again to take a stand,
the feeling is immense, dis-aggregated I feel an inertia surmounting, sucking me
back to a chasm. In short I feel like crying. Meanwhile somewhere deep down,
dementia speaks, “Crocodile tears don’t fetch you money. You Jackass!!!”
silly, I can’t ask god why me because I know. I’m the ONE! The only ONE! The
only CHOSEN ONE – MORON DONKEY.
My room is in a
mess, so is my brain – brain dead. People around are happy , they demand
treats, they demand alcohol, they demand YO YO HONEY SINGH, after all I’m about
to become GLOBAL LEADER. An oxymoron donkey still feels better than Global
Leader – True Story.
To add to the
broth, I feel cheated, I feel hell. Congrats dude for creating one damn awesome BROTHELL!!!
I don’t know
which clothes to fold, which papers to put to basket, where to search for my
wallet, even that damn itch guard is missing. If there was an award for
philanthropy, congrats you just won an award. Best Saving caused to your
company, errrrrr….. Future company. What
I always had cherished for doesn't seem lucrative enough…..