It’s been a desire for me to
continue in same steam, have chicken steak with same hunger and have enough gas
to reach milestones without refuels. Alas, you seldom can do all, and the high
sights you set for, come crumbling down after.
Perhaps I’m glad that even after
7 years this homo-1sapient is thriving at least the thinking part. The days of
moron donkey seem over and trying to get into meaty action lies ahead. But I
can’t dissociate myself from the oxymoron within me. It’s who I am just like
the way Dhoni defines when he wears sexy pair of shoes from Reebok, or that
very voluptuous looking female sitting right across me tries hard to Ree-Tone
her derriere. When I was young like all children around who remind me of my
growing age, I thought of myself as He-Man and when RAJ comics came I got
myself the hairstyle of super commando Dhruv. I went overboard to create a
costume with the VIP trunks my mum bought, cutting its sleeves to make it a
V-shape brief. For a brief moment my mom
went mad but had the right panacea for my insane behavior.
The retard within me had to be
tamed and this was done with impunity. No comics, no cartoons whatever that
came on Doordarshan, no stupid comic books discussion. For me that was
blasphemy , all for a stupid trunk that I had turned up into a brief. I
couldn’t forgo the grief that not so fancy designer brief had got me.
There was no shitting around when
my parents were at task. I had to do something to unleash the hero within, to
vent out my inner flux of creative juices and that’s when I decided, I had to
write my own comic book, create my own super-hero, create a villain who is
undefeated (borrowing it straight from Ra-One), a comic strip with no superhot
girls (I was a misogynist since then), with such a strong zeal I started.
Since it was a big secret I
didn’t tell this to anyone. Every day after school, I devoted 2 hours to
project-Bieber (yeah I don’t recall its name but somehow Justin Bieber has
crashed my mind). I could well see my pseudo beard growing, so engrossed I was
that I sometimes forgot to meet my friend Chittu and go to nearest railways
station to watch trains, walk on railway tracks. I named my comic book --------------------
( you cannot expect me to remember a name after 18 years).
Finally, I ended up writing my own
comic book (only the dialogues part). That day it was stupidity at its best, I
approached my brother have a critical literary review, I approached Chittu for
a proof reading. But soon I realized it was a big mistake.
Chittu
He was sitting on his dad’s chair
with legs on the study table. He look grim, he started blasting my story first,
cursed on the powers the superhero (BlahMan) had, then completely revamped my
story and presented the creation as if he had created it. That day I realized
this man would end up becoming a big gaseous manager. I was right!!!
Brother
If this was not enough, my brother was the worst. He first ridiculed me of ignoring my studies (I was
barely getting pass marks), bashed me up for wasting his precious diary( Did I
tell you I stole that diary from dad’s collection of diaries which they get
every year, my dad had 50 of them that
time and in Lucknow diaries are considered next to GOD. So we never write in
them, we just collect!!!!).
There was no literature review
further. The comic book was showed to my dad and mom. They didn’t utter a word.
Dad shook his head in disgust; Mom thought I was a gone case.
“iske to paanch rupey milenge madam !!! badi acchi diary hai ye toh par
bhar kyun di aapne”
The diary was sold for a mere 5
rupees to a kabaadi waala. I was aghast my first creation was sold. I was
broken and tears strolled down.
Then it brought me a smile. My
first copy was sold!! I had to start writing the sequel.
Till date that’s the only work
that I have sold. My dream of publishing a book still remains a DREAM!!!
Talking about dreams, nothing could have deterred me from doing anything, but
now I have reasons, reasons strong enough to even stop myself from flatulence.
(You cannot fart in living room, not in bedroom; KITCHEN is a blasphemy again….
Practically you cannot fart except in THE BATHROOM)
The art of growing old looms
large. I try evading it every day, I try thinking of writing every day, I still
dream of having my own band. At 30 you might feel the way you like. The choices
are in plenty, you may choose to become Darth Vader from Star Trek, ACP
Pradyuman from CID, Spiderman or Peter Parker, or Big B or Abhishek Bacchhan.
A douchebag on couch incinerates
any desire of activity and probably catalyzes the pain of growing old.
“Bete jab main chhota baccha
tha!!!”